Are you a list maker? Do you jot down pros and cons when you face a big decision, keep a running tally of places to which you want to travel, or find ways to be more productive in day-to-day life with to-do lists?
In the last few years, my lists have inadvertently prompted me to be more grateful for what I have. That wasn't my intention, but I like that it happened.
It started a few years ago when I got a small bonus at my job. It put some unexpected money into my pocket, and I decided to enjoy it rather than sock it away. I didn't have a big purchase I wanted to make, and it wasn't enough money to take a fancy vacation—just a couple hundred bucks. Over time, I bought myself a few smaller items that I didn't need, as well higher-quality versions of a few things I did need. As the purchases added up, I wrote down everything I bought, and the cost, until the money I had spent added up to the total of the bonus.
I had no plan for what to buy, no list of things I wanted ahead of time. But every time I bought something nice for myself, I opened that app and saw the list and remembered all the things I had already purchased, too. The list grew to be half a dozen items long or so. I'd open it to write the next purchase and think, "Wow. I almost would have forgotten that I spent $25 on a nice tube of mascara for myself. I'm so glad to remember this."
Looking at the list didn't just remind me of what I had. It made me appreciate having it all over again.
Gratitude Lists
I really liked the feeling of having gratitude for what I had, so after my bonus money ran out, I started a new list with new rules that would have a similar effect: I would make a wish list of things I wanted.
If I bought myself anything off the list or received it as a gift, I'd simply put an X next to it, but I wouldn't delete it from the list. That way, when I opened up my wish list to add something new or look over items I wanted, I'd also be forced to look at what I already had.
I kept these first few "gratitude lists," as I came to think of them, in Apple's Reminders app, and then later in Evernote when I adopted it for all kinds of note-taking.
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As time wore on, Evernote became more of a place where I kept notes about writing and work, usually on the desktop. I didn't turn to it periodically through the day on my mobile device the way I used to. What made my original gratitude list so effective was that I put my eyes on it so frequently. It was on my phone in an app that was on my homescreen. I saw it a lot. And when I saw it and read what was in it, well, that's when I felt grateful.
So I moved my lists into my to-do app, which today is Todoist. I look at it a lot; sometimes it's just for a quick glance, but the point is my eyes go to it maybe a dozen times a day.
Things You Can Write Down
For the last 14 months, I've been living in India. There are a lot of things I miss about my home country, the US. I get homesick easily. When I go back to visit, I try to take advantage of all the things I've been missing. As you might expect, I have lists for all these sorts of things: what I will do when I'm in the US, things I'll buy to bring back to India, and so forth.
I also have a list where I jot down things I will miss about India when I eventually leave. When I have a moment of appreciation for, say, a great cup of coffee that only costs me $0.30 or being able to go for a leisurely swim in January, I write it down. Then, when I open my US shopping list to add something, usually because I'm feeling frustrated that I can't buy it locally, I see that there are a whole list of reasons I should be grateful for what I have here and now.
There are other ways to work reminders of gratitude into your daily lists. If you have a goal, for example, and your to-do lists are related to that goal, write it down. Instead of writing, "Exercise 1 hour," change it to, "Exercise for an hour; lose 15 pounds by March!" Or if your to-do list is bogged down with family obligations, such as driving kids to and from extracurricular activities, add something that reminds you why you're putting your kids through ballet, art school, soccer, and whatever else they do. It doesn't have to be a long heartfelt note to yourself. Just put a heart emoji next to your kid's name or a big smiley face if you have to take her to the dentist.
Another kind of list I make is work accomplishments. I keep it in email rather than as a proper list, although as communication moves away from email, I may have to rethink that decision.
Right now, I have a folder for "Praise," and when I get positive feedback via email about something I've written or work I've done, I drag the thread into that folder. When I need to substantiate my work, like for an annual review or request for a raise, I have a list of emails that contain notes about things I've done well.
Keeping Tabs
Not every list you start will stick. But by keeping them in a place where you already look multiple times a day, such as a to-do app, you're more likely to see them and less likely to forget about them. It might take an extra second or two out of your day to jot down a thought or add a heart next to your kid's name in a task, but it can be rewarding in its own way.