Honestly, the ongoing use of the word Cyber is enough to drive a tech journalist to drink, if they didn't already. What does it even mean? Cybercrime and Cyberterrorism sound like bad sci-fi movie ideas, not a serious problem. But the government continues to push forward with its campaign to make every parent think that if their child isn't online looking at porn or being groomed they are nicking money from bank accounts and DDoSing websites.

Of course there's a real problem with some kids trying out their tech skills, and a combination of "off the shelf" hacking tools to get into protected areas of the web, or simply bringing down a website for a few hours with the help of a botnet. These endeavours may seem harmless to kids, but of course they do have real-world and financial implications.

The ad, of course, is intended to scare parents into monitoring their children online in a more vicious way. And now, clearly, along with the sex talk, the talk about not getting involved with online weirdos we must now have the DDoS talk with our children. And, of course, most kids will already understand this stuff is bad. It's not beyond the wit of our bright young people, and assuming it is does a massive injustice to them as people, and our parenting skills.

The campaign points out that you'll get a fine, have your computer taken away and face as long as 10 years in jail for, what might be considered simple pranks. The video is awful, it's like the piracy ads "you wouldn't steal a car" that miss the point entirely. If your children are involved in this sort of thing then there's probably another issue that's bothering them.

To prove how clueless the government is on this, take a look at the warning signs for your child being a Cybercrimmo:

• Is your child spending all of their time online?
• Are they interested in coding? Do they have independent learning material on computing?
• Do they have irregular sleeping patterns?
• Do they get an income from their online activities, do you know why and how?
• Are they resistant when asked what they do online?
• Do they use the full data allowance on the home broadband?
• Have they become more socially isolated?

Literally every one of those applied to me as a teenager, at university and probably a good chunk of them now. If your child is like this, congrats, you've got an introvert not a criminal. You've also probably got a kid with a bright future ahead of them. If you're worried, there's no harm in talking to them, but don't believe this scaremongering nonsense automatically, please.