Okay, that's it. That's the final straw. There's yet another Google Doodle today. I don't know about you, but I'm starting to forget what Google's normal logo looks like.
Clearly, this is a pressing problem. It deserves a column from me immediately. Nothing else important in the world is going on that needs media coverage, so I figured this would be a good time to put out a hit piece on Google, especially since I haven't written one since Tuesday.
So look: There are new Google Doodles seemingly every other day. Today's is about… Juan Gris, a cubist painter that was born 125 years ago. I know this because I'm very knowledgeable about art, and also because I googled it 18 seconds ago.
You may have noticed that as of late, new Google Doodles have become major media events. That's because every major media outlet feels compelled to cover each Google Doodle, usually as if it's breaking news. I mean, even besides today, look at all of these articles just from one of those media outlets, in the past month alone:
March 20 – Vernal Equinox
March 17 – St. Patrick's Day
March 14 – Akira Yoshizawa
March 8 – International Women's Day
February 29 – Gioachino Rossini
February 22 – Heinrich Hertz
This sort of thing is shameful, if you ask me. But I'll also give you there are some benefits to Google's strategy. For example, I like how certain unnoticed heroes and significant figures get more attention this way. I'm pretty sure that's the point of the doodles to begin with, but no matter. How else would we know about Heinrich Hertz, and that because of him, we get to make up good names for prank phone calls?
At any rate, I only like Google Doodles about the people and events I personally care about. Usually I'll read only those news stories. I don't like any of the other ones, so I don't know why those get covered. I also think it's great to see a company normally known for its engineering prowess—and privacy issues, and unnecessary plans for world domination—to also show its creative side. It humanizes the company. Don't be evil, indeed! That just gets you bad press, or welcomed in China.
So what's the solution here? Less Google Doodles? It would be a start. Another option: Take one of the Google Doodles and change its logo to that, permanently. My vote would be for the awesome, two-minute long, animated tribute to Freddie Mercury, because that wouldn't be hard at all for Google to put on its press materials. Besides, when companies change their logos, it always works out well; look at The Gap.
Now that this is settled, I'm going to get back to less pressing business, like writing product reviews. Right after I finish this beer to celebrate... Juan Gris! Right. That guy.
For more from Jamie, visit him on Twitter: @jlendino.