Cybersecurity education should happen at home and in schools. When I say "cybersecurity education," I mean going beyond offering tips about using antivirus software or installing a password manager to keep your logins safe. Of course, basic online security practices are important and should be taught widely. Still, I think a glance at the state of discourse on the predominant English-speaking online social spaces shows there's room for education about cyberbullying and what type of behavior falls under the umbrella of online abuse.
Kids May Not Know When They’re Bullying Someone
According to McAfee's 2022 Global Connected Family Study, cyberbullying is rampant among children online. Nearly a quarter of respondents, some as young as ten, said they face racist attacks online. Also, in the United States, one in every five kids endures online sexual harassment.
Many of us were taught to view online interactions through the "stranger danger" lens of caution, but in these survey results, more than half of the respondents said they were cyberbullied by someone they knew. What's more, in many instances, there is confusion over who is doing the bullying. Fewer than one in five children say they have cyberbullied someone, which doesn't quite square with the amount of cyberbullying reported in the survey.
The picture becomes clearer when you look at kids' survey answers about online interactions. Over half of the respondents admitted to an activity constituting online harassment, such as name-calling, using racist slurs or imagery, making threats of physical harm, or making unwanted sexual remarks.
What Can Parents Do to Stop Cyberbullying?
I've been using the internet nearly all my life, and I can tell you that most people still have not perfected their online tone. Jokes often come across negatively (or not as jokes at all) when you don't have physical cues to accompany them or familiarity with the person you're talking to. Anonymity also emboldens people online, leading to exchanges containing a little (or a lot) more heat than necessary.
It's hard enough to keep your adult relatives from fighting one another over minor differences of opinion on your Facebook feed. Attempting to keep your kids from bullying people online while protecting them from others may seem like a tall order. In an article about the McAfee survey, an expert explained that offering consistent guidance for online interactions is necessary for parenting today's connected kids.
“Parents must be more tech-savvy than their children," said Ross Ellis, the founder of Stomp Out Bullying. “Cyberbullying can be dangerous, so it’s not a one-and-done conversation. Parents must maintain open communications.”
Parents also need to keep on top of specific online behavioral trends. The McAfee survey data shows that one in three parents say they've addressed specific abusive behavior such as dogpiling (continuing to berate someone after many other people have done the same), doxing (publishing private or identifying information without someone’s consent), flaming (personal attacks), or outing (disclosing someone’s sexual identity without their consent).
How to Talk to Children About Cyberbullying
Your children will probably spend every day of their lives interacting with people online. It's up to you to ensure they start on the right path early. Use some of these tips to get your conversations about online civility and safety started, and keep them going.
Be available for Regular Chats With Your Kids About Their Online Lives
Just as you'd know the name of your kids' IRL best friends, you should try to get to know who your kids interact with online. If you take time to talk to your kids about their relationships, both the good and bad parts, you'll be better equipped to help them face their specific issues in these online spaces.
Encourage Your Kids to Keep Their Social Media Activities Private
Facebook, Instagram, Mastodon, Threads, and Twitter all have options for private posts and profiles to discourage dogpile attacks. Discord and Reddit have more built-in anonymity because they're forum-based rather than microblogging platforms, but both sites also have profile privacy options.
Learn and Teach the Art of De-escalation
Laughing at someone else’s expense and name-calling are both types of bullying, but this behavior can be hard to identify as harassment among people in online friend groups. Talk to your kids about how they choose their acquaintances online and why they shouldn't accept abuse from their "friends," nor should they retaliate with more harassment. Teach them how to walk away from heated online situations.
Keep an Eye on Your Kids Online
You can use built-in controls such as Apple's Screen Time app, Google's Family controls, or Microsoft's Family Safety software to see the content your child is consuming online and how long they're spending in front of a screen. From there, you can limit their access to certain apps or websites if you think it's necessary.
"I Learned It by Watching You"
Kids may not have the empathy, maturity, or wisdom to understand that their words and actions affect the real humans they talk to online. That's why our future generations need to know that the adults in their lives do not condone bullying.
If you're an adult, maybe it's time to look at some of the tweets you send, the memes you upload, the Reddit rants you write, and the comments you post on articles. You might think you're "just blowing off steam" or fighting a political crusade, but if your social profiles are public, your kids are probably keeping an eye on you. And they are modeling their behavior accordingly.