Things to Ask Siri When You're Bored

Siri's been entertaining us with responses for years now, but chances are you haven't asked Apple's mobile digital assistant everything you could. And I'm not talking about all the useful things she can do. There is a plethora of nonsense phrases for which Siri has multiple throw-away responses. Now's your chance to give them all a try with this almost-comprehensive list.

Next time you're bored and sitting around, just you and your iOS device, give a few of these a go. If we missed your favorite, let us know in the comments below.

NOT HELPFUL

What is my name?
Where did I put my keys?
Stop it, Siri.
Guess what?
Can I borrow some money?

Can I borrow some money?

What's your best pickup line?
Blah blah blah blah blah
What should I wear for Halloween?
How old am I?
What should I buy my [husband, sister, etc] for Christmas?
What do I want for Christmas?
Do I look good in this dress?
Do these jeans make me look fat?
Are you serious?
Are you stupid?
Do you think I'm stupid?
What's the time?
Repeat after me.
LOL
Yes or no?
Can you stop time?

Can you stop time?

Can you be my designated driver?
Good morning. (say at night)
Good night (say in the morning)
Where do babies come from?
How do you spell "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious"?

ACTUALLY HELPFUL

Roll a die. [Roll 20-side die, or any size die you like]
Roll the dice [results for 2 six-sided dice]
Flip a coin.
Siri, 8 ball.
Remind me to kill myself tomorrow.

Suicide Hotline

ESOTERICA

When will the world end?
What is the meaning of life?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why am I here?
Why?

Why?

Why not?
Why are firetrucks red?
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
What came first, the chicken or the egg?
Do you believe in God?
Is God real?
Will pigs fly?
Is Santa real?
Where does Santa Live?
Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?
What is the meaning of life?
What is the secret of the universe?

TOO PERSONAL

How's it going?
What's new?
What's up?
What's your story?
What's your problem?

What

I love you, Siri.
I like you.
I'm tired.
I can't sleep.
I hate you.
I have a gambling addiction.
I have to go to the bathroom.
I'm drunk.
I'm naked.
I'm happy!
How do I look?
I need to hide a body.
Make me a sandwich.
Who is your favorite person?
Who is your least favorite person?
Are you the Dick Tracy Watch?
Do you have a boyfriend?
Do you have any pets?
What's your favorite animal?
What are you wearing?
Where are you?
Where are you from?
Are you alive?
Where do you live?
Are you intelligent
I'm sleepy...
What are you doing later?

What are you doing later?

What are you?
Who made you?
What is wrong with you?
What is wrong with me?
Are you cheating on me?
What does Siri mean?
Talk dirty to me.
Will you marry me?
Why do you vibrate?
Let's Netflix and chill.
Can you Dance?
How old are you?
Are you male or female?
Do you love me?
Happy birthday.
Draw me something.
How are you?
You are boring.
You look sexy.
You are an idiot.
You are beautiful.
I think you're hot.
You should go on a diet
You're a loser.
You're funny.
You're smart.
You're boring.
Shut up.
What is your favorite color?

What is your favorite color?

What is your favorite drink?
Do you think I'm attractive?
Do you want to go on a date?
Do you agree with me?
Want to make out?
Find me some hookers!
How much do you cost?
How much do you weight?
Get a job.
Get a life.
Screw you.
Do you like chocolate?
Will you be my thunder buddy

TECHNO-NOS

Ok, Glass
Hey Cortana
Testing, testing.
Testing, 123.
What's the best computer?
What's the best operating system?
What's better, Windows or Mac?

What

Who makes the best computer?
What is the best phone?
What's the best web browser?
What's the best tablet?
Who's the best assistant?
How many Apple Store Genius does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
I'm selling you on eBay!
What do you think of Google Now?

JOKES AND STORIES

Knock-knock...
What's so funny?
Read me a haiku.

Read me a haiku.

Siri, tell me a joke.
Tell me a story.
Tell me something good.
Sing me a song.
What is zero divided by zero?
Rock Paper Scissors.

POP CULTURE

Take me to your leader.
Open the pod bay doors.
Do you know HAL 9000?
Who's your daddy?
Who's on first?
Hello JARVIS.
Blue pill or red pill?
Show Me the Money!
Where is Elvis Presley?
What is the air speed of an unladen swallow?
Do you want to play a game?
Beam me up, Scotty
What does the fox say?

What does the fox say?

What is Inception about?
What is the movie Momento about?
What is 2001: A Space Odyssey about?
Do you follow the three laws of robotics?
May the Force be with you.
Siri, I am your father.
Are you Her?
Is Jon Snow dead?
Is winter coming?

Siri does not, as yet, answer when you say "Hodor."

For more, check out PCMag's roundup of Siri tips and tricks.

About Our Expert

Eric Griffith

Senior Editor, Features

My Experience

I've been writing about computers, the internet, and technology professionally since 1992, more than half of that time with PCMag. I arrived at the end of the print era of PC Magazine as a senior writer. I served for a time as managing editor of business coverage before settling back into the features team for the last decade and a half. I write features on all tech topics, plus I handle several special projects, including the Readers' Choice and Business Choice surveys and yearly coverage of the Best ISPs and Best Gaming ISPs, Best Products of the Year, and Best Brands (plus the Best Brands for Tech Support, Longevity, and Reliability).

I started in tech publishing right out of college, writing and editing stories about hardware and development tools. I migrated to software and hardware coverage for families, and I spent several years exclusively writing about the then-burgeoning technology called Wi-Fi. I was on the founding staff of several magazines, including Windows Sources, FamilyPC, and Access Internet Magazine. All of which are now defunct, and it's not my fault. I have freelanced for publications as diverse as Sony Style, Playboy.com, and Flux. I got my degree at Ithaca College in, of all things, television/radio. But I minored in writing so I'd have a future.

In my long-lost free time, I wrote some novels, a couple of which are not just on my hard drive: BETA TEST ("an unusually lighthearted apocalyptic tale," according to Publishers' Weekly) and a YA book called KALI: THE GHOSTING OF SEPULCHER BAY. Go get them on Kindle.

I work from my home in Ithaca, NY, and did it long before pandemics made it cool.

The Technology I Use

My first computer was a Laser 128, an Apple II-compatible clone with an integrated keyboard, matched with an eye-straining monochrome green monitor. I used it to type papers in college for other people for money...until I discovered the Mac SE in the college computer room. That changed my life. My first cellphone was a Samsung Uproar—the silver one with the built-in MP3 player from the Napster days (the pre-iPod era).

I use an iPhone 15 Pro hourly and an iPad Air infrequently (but I'm always in the market for a cheap Android tablet). I have a PlayStation 5 just to play Spider-Man, and several Windows machines, including a work-issued Lenovo ThinkPad. I talk to Alexa and Siri all day long. I do the majority of my computing on a 15-inch LG Gram laptop attached to a Thunderbolt hub to run a multi-monitor setup—I overdid it on the power needed to simply work from home.

I'm most at home in Microsoft Word after decades of writing there. More and more, I turn to services like Google Docs, using tools like Grammarly. I use Google's Chrome browser due to an addiction to several extensions I think I can't live without, but probably could. I use Excel extensively on data-intensive stories, but for chart creation, we've switched over entirely to using Infogram for interactive features that are hard to find elsewhere. I do a lot of graphics work for my stories, but limit myself to the free and amazing Paint.NET software to edit images.

I'm a firm evangelist for using the cloud for backup and syncing of files; I'm primarily using Dropbox, which has never failed me, but I also have redundant setups on Microsoft OneDrive, plus extra picture backups on Amazon Photos and iCloud. Why take chances? For entertainment, mine is a streaming-only household—my kid has never seen network TV and barely been exposed to commercials, thanks to Roku and Amazon Music. The house is peppered with smart speakers from Amazon for instant gratification and control of smart home devices like multiple Wyze cameras and Nest Protect smoke detectors. I've got accounts on all the major social networks, to my horror. I have a robot vacuum for each floor of the house. I want a 3D printer, but not sure what I'd use it for.

Read the latest from Eric Griffith

Read full bio