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Potato Salad and 8 Other Kickstarters That Need to Not Exist

 & Chandra Steele Senior Features Writer

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Danger is his middle name, Kickstarter is his game.

Zack Danger Brown lit up Fourth of July weekend with his crowd-sourcing campaign to finance the making of his first potato salad. As of this moment, the Internet has given him more than $70,000.

The campaign comes about a month after Kickstarter relaxed its rules for getting projects posted to the site. Project managers can now opt to launch their projects immediately (subject to review by a Kickstarter algorithm) or solicit the advice of a Kickstarter community manager. Previously, a community manager would give all submitted projects a quick review to confirm that it was "a project with a specific, finite goal."

Has the move resulted in an influx of dumb projects, or have gems like potato salad always been hiding in plain site? Kickstarter did not immediately respond to a request for comment, but a quick review of the site produces a number of potato salad-esque campaigns.

There are the blatant rip-offs, like Pasta Salad, and direct challenges, as with Better Potato Salad. There are a slew of sides: coleslaw, couscous, and mac and cheese. There's also an Asian guy who wants to make rice for the first time. If you're thinking no one's got dessert covered and you're going to rake in more money than a Girl Scout with a fresh delivery of Thin Mints, well there are some other herbal sweets already. Few have raised any money, though. One guy, sensing that there would be a backlash against funding food, has opted to make a documentary about potato salad's rise to fame.

But it's not all snack foods and side dishes out there. There are a number of questionable campaigns on Kickstarter to which you most definitely do not need to contribute your hard-earned money. Check them out in the slideshow, but save your cash for an organization that needs your donation.

My Wife Wants a Big Deck (Goal: $1,000)

"Please help. My wife is in search of a big deck and I want to be the one to provide it for her," Jonathan Watson tells us as he holds his iPhone incorrectly. We're pretty sure this guy should have funded the personal assistive listening device first.

fonhandle (Goal: $22,000)

It's a phone! It's a spatula! It's a…phatula? It's nothing we can imagine using.

Join Me in My Time Machine (Goal: £99)

Leo here (maybe not a photo of him but probably an accurate depiction) wants to travel back in time and save Vincent van Gogh. A guy tried this before. A doctor even. And yet, van Gogh still killed himself.

My Personable Black Clouds (Goal: $10,000)

Misery loves company and J. Scott Picon is betting it also loves money. He says he wants to dispense his gloom to those more fortunate. Don't be fooled by thinking the clouds are "personable." Considering the spelling errors in the listing (except weirdly he gets "schlemiel" and "schadenfreude" right), we're pretty sure he means personal.

How to Escape the Parents for Good (Goal: $55,000)

Matthew Timmis wants to escape his parents and he wants your help. He says the money will go toward writing a guidebook for others on how to leave the nest, and promises "the most detailed and up to date tutorial on the entire process of buying or building your first home in Australia."

Whoopi Cushion (Goal: £50)

Whoopi Goldberg became famous for telling jokes. Jokes that did not let the air out of the room the way the whoopi cushion does. Or this Whoopi-themed version. We look forward to your next project, though, Shed Simove: Making Whoopi, a 3D-printed likeness of Goldberg.

Help an OCD Victim Replace His Broken Phone (Goal: $200)

OCD is no laughing matter. There's good reason to believe that Matt David King, OCD sufferer, is indeed distraught over his broken HTC One. But we're not paying for it.

My GED vs. Peer Reviewed Theoretical Astrophysics Papers (Goal: $25,000)

Yes, Einstein did dream up E=mc² while he was still a patent clerk. No, you will not learn the secrets of the universe from Lonnie Phillips, who says, "I'm a 35 year old operating engineer with a GED. I want to write a book that explains why everything you've been taught about the universe is bulls**t."

About Our Expert

Chandra Steele

Chandra Steele

Senior Features Writer

My Experience

My title is Senior Features Writer, which is a license to write about absolutely anything if I can connect it to technology (I can). I’ve been at PCMag since 2011 and have covered the surveillance state, vaccination cards, ghost guns, voting, ISIS, art, fashion, film, design, gender bias, and more. You might have seen me on TV talking about these topics or heard me on your commute home on the radio or a podcast. Or maybe you’ve just seen my Bernie meme

I strive to explain topics that you might come across in the news but not fully understand, such as NFTs and meme stocks. I’ve had the pleasure of talking tech with Jeff Goldblum, Ang Lee, and other celebrities who have brought a different perspective to it. I put great care into writing gift guides and am always touched by the notes I get from people who’ve used them to choose presents that have been well-received. Though I love that I get to write about the tech industry every day, it’s touched by gender, racial, and socioeconomic inequality and I try to bring these topics to light. 

Outside of PCMag, I write fiction, poetry, humor, and essays on culture.

My Areas of Expertise

  • Making incomprehensible tech news easy to understand
  • Expanding the boundaries of topics covered in the industry
  • Figuring out tips and tricks in apps and on devices and letting you know about them
  • Putting together gift guides for everyone in your life 

The Technology I Use

All that gadgets is gold for me: my iPhone 11 Pro, my fifth-generation iPad that I use only for streaming videos and music, my iPad mini 4 that I like to take with me whenever I carry a bag that can fit it, and my MacBook Pro. Why are they all different shades of gold, though? What’s going on, Apple? 

None of them quite live up to my two past loves: my LG Lotus LX600 phone and my Sony Walkman NW-E005 MP3 player. 

I've never given up wired earbuds so I was ahead of all those trend pieces. I use a Mangotek Lightning-to-3.5mm headphone jack adapter to connect them to my phone. 

I have had so many ebook readers, but I prefer paper to them all. Still, my Kindle Paperwhite is perfect for traveling or when I’m too impatient to wait for a book to be released in paperback.

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